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Number of Suicides in Boston skyrockets 9.8.8

Opening day for the New England Patriots and the MVP star quarterback goes down with a season ending knee injury in the first quarter. Today, when the news comes he will be lost for the season on IR, you can see the backed up line of people jumping off the John Hancock building and the bodies piling up. Luckily the Boston Police Department has blocked pedistrian traffic so no more fans will be injured from those leaping to their deaths. I think I was the only one in the office that said they should have signed Brett Favre, but as usual no one bothers to listen.