Over/Under on the number that get a good laugh or laughed at: 1.

Euclid said that two parallel planes don’t touch. Let’s go back to my room and study some non-Euclidean geometry.

Why don’t you be the numerator and I be the denominator and both of us reduce to simplest form?

There are many proofs of my theorem, but you are far and away the most elegant.

Can I plug my solution into your equation?

Huygens’ favorite curves were cycloids, but my favorite curves are yours.

Let my ability to perform e-d proofs of a limit show you that E.D. doesn’t limit my ability to perform.

I don’t care what Godel’s Incompleteness Theorem says, because I know that you complete me.

Much of our shared knowledge was discovered in the East before being brought to the Western world: the number zero, Arabic numerals, the quadratic formula, the Kama Sutra.

Here is an elementary proof of the First Fundamental Theorem of Love.

How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the digits of your phone number?

The volume of a generalized cylinder has been known for thousands of years, but you won’t know the volume of mine until tonight.

Archimedes cried out “eureka” and ran around naked and filled with joy when he discovered that the volume of a solid can be determined by how much it displaces. Spend more time with me and you will do the same.

Let me show you that the function of my love for you is one to one and on to.

I don’t like my current girlfriend. Mind if I do a you-substitution?

Your face has perfect reflective symmetry.

Shall I iterate using Newton’s method to find your 0?

You are one well-defined function.

Why can’t love be a one to one function? Then our relationship could be injective.

Why don’t we use some Fourier analysis on our relationship and reduce to a series of simple periodic functions.

Bertrand Russell was a renowned mathematician, philosopher and advocate for sexual liberation. How about we cut math and philosophy class and focus on the rest of Russell’s life.

Now that the demonstration using Fermat’s Little Theorem is over, here is a demonstration using my little man.

The law of contrapositives says that we should use a condom.

I would really like to bisect your angle.

Are you the square root of 2? Because I feel irrational when I am around you.

How about we turn our binary operation into a group?

Being a mathematician is tough work.

Is there any chance that you can provide

me with an easier kind of job?

I have a solution to Fermat’s Theorem written on the inside of my pants.

You have one compact set.

I like the area bounded by your two curves.

In game theory I study situations in which both players can win. You want to be a part of one?

Want to see if my linear solution solves for the zero of your system of equations?

I can figure out the square root of any number in less than 10 seconds. What? You don’t believe me? Well, then, let’s try it with your phone number.

Are you a vector-valued function? Because I would really like to see how much you flux when I curl you.

Meeting you is like a switch to polar coordinates: complex and imaginary things are given a magnitude and a direction.

Ever wonder what L’Hopital’s rule has to say about limits in the form of me over you?

If you don’t want to go all the way, you can still partially derive me.

My vector has a large magnitude, care to normalize it?

I see that you have two nice maxima, mind if I solve for the minimum?

Nice calculator. Wanna iterate?