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Smart advice 11.8.7

1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
2. If at first you donít succeed, skydiving is not for you.
3. Money canít buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
4. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill. Check three friends. If theyíre OK, youíre it.
5. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
7. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
8. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
10. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
11. Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
12. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
13. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
14. TJís Law: You canít fall off the floor.
15. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
16. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you canít find them.
18. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.