" /> tnerb.org: January 2006 Archives

« December 2005 | Main | February 2006 »

January 29, 2006

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! The Chinese Year 4703, Year of the Red Fire Dog or bingxu.

January 28, 2006

Serious Issues

If you have a hard time realizing you are saving too much "stuff", and think that maybe you have a problem, you had better take a look at saving 200 years worth of letters. Historical and detailed with some cool historical figures, but after a while you think you would do some house cleaning.

January 25, 2006

Are you more more

Would you rather:

wear a hollowed-out watermelon as a hat/mask OR wear loaves of bread as shoes? Wear a hollowed out watermelon as a hat or mask. I think the loaves of bread as shoes would be uncomfortable and wear out pretty quickly.
your nose constantly be running OR your eyes itchy? Eyes itchy. Nose constantly running is terrible.
find out you never graduated from high school and need one more class OR find out you took two classes too many? Find out I took two classes too many. Never graduating would be a shock.
be interviewed by a prominent "hate" magazine OR find pictures of you in the shower in "the enquirer"? Inerviewed by a prominent hate magazine. No need to publish pictures of me showering.

In addition:
01) Polished brass or brushed stainless steel? Brushed stainless steel. What are we choosing kitchen door handles?
02) Wooden frame for frames you can't see or metal frame for frames you can't see? Metal frame for frames you can't see.
03) One who would choose to live through a stomach flu or one who would choose to live through having strep throat? Choose to live through a stomach flue. Strep throat is too irritating.
04) A fan of medical-based tv shows or a fan of law-based tv shows? Law based tv shows are better. The medical can get gruesome in a hurry.
05) A believer in science or a believer in mysticism? Believer is science.
06) A sure-footed mountain goat or a swift-footed race horse? Swift footed race horse.
07) Prone to having a head cold or prone to having a chest cold? Prone to having a chest cold. It clears the head early and takes a month to finally clear up.
08) Ruthless or apathetic? Ruthless.
09) Fish 'n chips or fried chicken? Fish 'n chips.
10) For increased globalization or against increased globalization? For increased globalization. Ask me again in another 10 years.

January 21, 2006

Good advice

Living well really IS the best revenge.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

You only need two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn’t, use duct tape.

When baking, follow directions carefully. When cooking on top of the stove, go by your own taste.

Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you respond to it.

The two most essential phrases for a happy relationship: “I apologize” and “You are right.”

Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect, it just means you decided to see beyond the imperfections and be happy anyway.

If you woke up breathing, be thankful! You have another chance!

Being miserable because of a former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.

Real friends are those who, when you make a fool of yourself, don’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.

You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.

You should lead your life so you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock Cal. 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the qustion! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me, If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican’s Answer:
BANG!

Southern Republican’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click…(sounds of reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: “Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: You ain’t taking that to the Taxidermist!

Translation for what women say

Women keywords and their meaning

1. Fine
This is the word ladies use at the end of any argument that they feel
they are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to
describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those
arguments.

2. Five Minutes
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so she
feels that it’s an even trade.

3. Nothing
This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is
usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn
you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies
an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

4. Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
“Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

5. Go Ahead (normal eyebrows)
This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You
will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by
“Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes”
when she cools off.

6. Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very
misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot
at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

7. Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the
few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best
bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

8. Oh
This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me
get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last
night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the
nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done
tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to
you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually
signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get
out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts
so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

9. That’s Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a
man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before
paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done.
“That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in
conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near
future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some
mighty big trouble.

10. Please Do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing
whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the
truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

11. Thanks
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

12. Thanks A Lot
This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot”
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt
her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be
careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will
only tell you “Nothing”

January 20, 2006

Rough Day

Tough day on the market. Down all of the New Year in one day. O well. Back to work trying to make a buck and make it last.

Overheard on the walk back from the train, two females talking aloud, "...and my boyfriend is the one doing crack and other drugs."

Questions of Are you more:

01) "Go ahead, make my day." or "You gotta ask yourself one question: do I feel lucky?"? Go ahead, make my day.
02) Plain hot dog or chili dog with cheese? Plain hot dog.
03) "Say hello to my little friend!" or "All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one."? Say hello to my little friend.
04) Fresh raspberries or fresh blueberries? Fresh bluberries.
05) "Son of a bitch must pay!" or "It's all in the reflexes."? Son of a bitch must pay.
06) Non-rippled potato chips or rippled potato chips? Rippled potato chips.
07) "If it bleeds, we can kill it." or "You're ghosting us, motherfucker. I don't care who you are back in the world, you give away our position one more time, I'll bleed you, real quiet, leave you here. Got that?"? If it bleeds we can kill it.
08) Harp or hammered dulcimer? Harp.
09) "I'll be back" or "Listen, and understand. That terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."? I'll be back.
10) Office Space or Raising Arizona? Office space. So typical for our office.

January 19, 2006

Trivia for today

Ever wonder who invented the match? The history and some inventors behind the instant fire starter for those curious.

January 17, 2006

Mellon Financial Sucks

Ever have the bank lock you out two days before the changes go into effect? Thanks for the heads up things were going to change you piece of crap service. The customer service telephone people are of absolutely no help. They won't provide the correct person and the hold times exceed half an hour each. They then say they can only send a piece of snail mail to provid the required login information. After the mail finally comes, the login information still is invalid. WTF? What type of service is this poor? If I had the chance to change providers I would in a heart beat but would probably get hit with some type of exit fee and for what. Mellon you really have a lot of work to do in order to provide so called service.

January 16, 2006

Enjoying the MLK Day off

Spending some time catching up on sleep here. Enjoying having the day off from work. Probably catch up on some sleep, clean up around the apartment and read some while the weather changes from 55 and rain to 10 with gusty winds in a matter of hours.

After watching the Marquette/West Virginia game, I couldn't believe how many 3 points WV had. Sure enough a new school and Big East record 20 of 38 sunk the Warriors. Even though they played them tough in the first half, and cutting the lead down to 3, it wasn't going to happen the way they played perimeter defense. We were Pittsnogled. Gansey was on fire early and Young played well in the second half. Rutgers over DePaul was a bit of a surprise. Pitt over Louisville wasn't.

As for the remaining playoff teams, It looks like Denver and Seattle are the two favorites. With the Bears and Colts going down to Carolina and Pittsburgh. I thought once Bettis fumbled and set up a decent return that Indianapolis would force OT. I guess a 46 yard field goal try is more difficult in playoff "Die or Advance" circumstances. With no chance of the three-peat all of the New England fans will be wondering, what happened.

January 14, 2006

Politics in Boston

On the way to work, I noticed something that might offer an insight as to how Boston residents choose Presidential candidates years in advance and might offer additional clues as to what teams they root for. On the beaten up Ford truck read Belichick/Theo in 2008.

January 11, 2006

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Anne Marie.

In Packers land, apparently the new head coach is Mike McCarthy. The former offensive cordinator of the 49ers got the nod over favorite Jim Bates.

Along the Marquette/Seton Hall game, MU won their first road Big East cupcake Seton Hall. Steve, one Sam LaGrassa's lunch tomorrow.

In other news, Jury Duty. Oh those tricky civic duty punishable by $2000 fine or jail time. Well, make sure to put it in a city that might be T accessable and then I'll show up, but Woburn? WTF? I better pull out my Boston map and figure out which side of the state it is on.

January 08, 2006

Advice

Invest in yourself. Do the things that can get you closer to your goals and dreams. It won't come from a brokerage commercial. It will come from preparing yourself, working hard and standing apart from your competition. You Inc is the best stock you can ever buy…if you are willing to do the work.

Mark Cuban has other good bits of wisdom at his blogmaverick site that I check out every now and then.

January 05, 2006

Are you one

01) One who will usually go pee even if you're busy or one who will try to hold off going pee until you're not as busy? Go pee even if I'm busy.
02) A poke in the eye or a kick in the shin? Kick in the shin. I've been poked in the eye to hate the idea.
03) Someone who would prefer to watch a sumo wrestling match or someone who would prefer to watch a jai alai match? A sumo wrestling match.
04) A meticulous planner or a care-free wing-it type? Meticulous planner.
05) One who believes that 'National Security Secrecy' is needed or one who believes that 'National Security Secrecy' is usually where a government body is doing something it shouldn't? A government body is doing something is shouldn't.
06) Bitchy or surly? Surly.
07) Able to keep up with the new tv technology (HDTV, component video, etc.) or totally lost with anything more complex than a coaxial cable attachment? Able to keep up with the HDTV.
08) An evening bather/showerer or a morning bather/showerer? Morning showerer.
09) One who understands why an equilateral triangle would make the perfect screwdriver standard or one who thinks it doesn't really matter? I don't think it really matters.
10) Out in left field or stuck on the pitcher's mound? Stuck on the pitcher's mound.

Are you one

01) One who will usually go pee even if you're busy or one who will try to hold off going pee until you're not as busy? Go pee even if I'm busy.
02) A poke in the eye or a kick in the shin? Kick in the shin. I've been poked in the eye to hate the idea.
03) Someone who would prefer to watch a sumo wrestling match or someone who would prefer to watch a jai alai match? A sumo wrestling match.
04) A meticulous planner or a care-free wing-it type? Meticulous planner.
05) One who believes that 'National Security Secrecy' is needed or one who believes that 'National Security Secrecy' is usually where a government body is doing something it shouldn't? A government body is doing something is shouldn't.
06) Bitchy or surly? Surly.
07) Able to keep up with the new tv technology (HDTV, component video, etc.) or totally lost with anything more complex than a coaxial cable attachment? Able to keep up with the HDTV.
08) An evening bather/showerer or a morning bather/showerer? Morning showerer.
09) One who understands why an equilateral triangle would make the perfect screwdriver standard or one who thinks it doesn't really matter? I don't think it really matters.
10) Out in left field or stuck on the pitcher's mound? Stuck on the pitcher's mound.

Would you?

Would you rather:
wear underwear made out of fur OR bubblegum? Bubblegum. A little sticky but tasty.

have a complete stranger walk up and french kiss you OR get licked on your naked butt by a strange dog? A complete female stranger walk up and french kiss. No dog needs to go licking my naked but.
put curry on everything you eat OR touch everything to your chin before putting it in your mouth? I don't think curry can be that bad, but missing the mouth is just plain too odd a choice.
make a funny face and have it stay that way OR lie and have your pants light on fire? Funny face getting stuck. No need to burn every pair of pants.

January 03, 2006

Treating yourself to Resolutions

An article from Yahoo regarding New Years resolutions.

Treat yourself to doable resolutions


Most people start the New Year making a resolution or two. It's symbolic of a fresh start and a new beginning toward self-improvement.
The day after the New Year, I will arrive at the gym and find dozens of new people. Where these folks come from is a mystery to me. But, you can be sure by mid to late February they will disappear and the gym will return to its regulars. It happens every year at this time.

This group of mysterious strangers made a New Year's resolution to exercise. Exercise is not the only resolution that challenges the ego; there are many others as well.

Year after year we make both verbal and written resolutions to lose weight, to stop smoking, to be more organized, to save more money, to eat healthily, to exercise regularly and we set other goals that fall by the wayside.

According to a survey, only about 30% of those who make a resolution even make it to mid-February.

Entrepreneurs don't take defeat well, and we will invest valuable energy in beating ourselves up because we failed to keep a resolution.

I had that experience once. And once was plenty. About 25 years ago, all in one breath, I resolved to give up smoking, eat healthier foods, exercise three days a week and practice feeling love, compassion and kindness to all that I came in contact with.

That last resolution did me in. All was fine when I found myself with pets. However, trying to feel love and compassion for some of the people who came in and out of my office and my life was driving me to smoke more and eat like there was no tomorrow. The increased smoking and eating made me to sluggish to exercise. After six weeks I felt beaten but not defeated, and decided I had to make a few adjustments in making New Year's resolutions.

I managed to construct a pretty good system. If you have been unable to maintain your resolutions, perhaps you might want to consider my method.

Mine is a two-part system. Part one is the short-term version. Part two is the yearlong version.

For those difficult resolutions like ridding yourself of bad habits, exercising regularly or eating for health, I use the New Moon (short term) resolution system. It works wonderfully well. You resolve to do a particular thing from one New Moon to the next. A day or two before the upcoming New Moon evaluate how things have progressed and if all looks well re-instate it for another cycle. Otherwise pitch it. It's a lot easier to deal with a tough situation one month at a time.

This system allowed me to establish a healthy eating pattern, exercise six days a week and not smoke. Additionally, feeling love and compassion has come a lot easier.

Now let's look at the traditional annual resolution which is the long version. Anything that I resolve to do for an entire year must be fun, enjoyable and as exciting as a 5-year-old anticipating Christmas morning. Now, that's a great resolution! It makes those short-term resolutions easier to do.

Each year I resolve to do one wonderful thing for myself each week.

One day each week I take myself (alone, no company allowed) on a date. This annual resolution has opened a whole new world for me. I have taken myself to movies, zoos, museums, art galleries, amusement parks, plays, etc. I have experienced rock climbing, hiking, bird watching, pottery classes, acting lessons, cooking lessons, ridden in a hot air balloon and even taken part in a mid-air jet refueling. In addition, I have met many interesting people, from a nun who reads tarot cards to a man who claims to be the reincarnation of Greek philosopher Heraclitus.

These outings bring joy to my living and enhancement of my mind, body and spirit. I don't allow any interference with these weekly outings.

I once read "The great essentials of happiness are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." Those sound like the ingredients for what a New Year's resolution should be about.

So, if you decide to make resolutions this year, make the kind that bring you joy and happiness and create a system that will allow you to see them through.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

January 02, 2006

Packers Update

A last game of the season win wasn't enough to have Mike Sherman keep his job. Makes you wonder what they were really thinking by giving him a two year contract extension earlier this year. As for the upcoming list of NFL head coaching changes, Mike Martz, Dom Capers, Mike Tice, Sherman are all unemployed. Soon to take the axe? Detroit, Oakland, maybe the Jets? Stay tuned.

The upcoming opponents for 2006.

Home: Chicago, Detroit, Minnesota, Arizona, St. Louis, New England, N.Y. Jets, New Orleans
Away: Chicago, Detroit, Minnesota, San Francisco, Seattle, Buffalo, Miami, Philadelphia

Number of playoff teams: 3. Chicago, New England, Seattle. Not a bad set of teams in that group. The Jets, New Orleans, Detroit, San Francicsco, Arizona and St. Louis are teams that could still be bad. Philadelphia, Buffalo, Miami are tougher tests. Minnesota is most likely a changed team without Mike Tice but too early to tell where they will fall. Same with Detroit and changes happening in the city that will host the final game....errr...other than the Pro Bowl.

No idea what Favre will do without Sherman now. His chances of coming back for another go around more than likely will be gone with Sherman.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! Down to Atlantic City for a little late NYD fun. Well, not so much fun when Ceasars and Trump Plaza take a good bit more than I walked in with. Craps was alright but no open BJ tables.

As for the football season ending yesterday, the Packers took down Mike Holmgren and the Seattle Seahawks. If it was Brett Favre's last game at least he went out a winner for one of the few games they did win this season.

No major predictions for 2006. Stock market likely to trade in the flat line. Some fed watchers think inflation and interest rates will stop rising. Well, most likely with oil so high the rates will have to keep rising. More likely 6-7% is the range by year end. Dow 11200.